Ephesians 1

I kneel before the Father... and pray to know the width, length, height and depth of the LOVE of Christ... Amen

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Everything GUYS need to know...

Outtakes make me want to do this show... Courtesy of Hulu

...can be learned by watching a season of The Bachelorette with us ladies.

If you know me, you know that since high school, I center my life around (God...), but admittedly, The Bachelorette/Bachelor.
My heart broke for Trista, who was my pick, in Season 1, but I fell in love with Ryan during her season... I sat through that magical yet gosh-awful-Pepto-Bismol-pink wedding where unity candles burned ugly scars in my memory, and nobody but me remembers it was hosted by the guy Trista didn't pick, Charlie! How awkward would Mel have felt conducting the wedding of Molly and Jason? Talk about stormy.literally. If I were her and they made me host that rainy production, I would have worn a belly shirt because the chica's got abs...

A good great friend, Joe, told my other great best friend, Bec, if any guy wanted to know the best way to her heart, he should just watch The Bachelorette with her.
It's true.
We watch one hour late, so we can fast forward through commercials. We're strict about minimal talking during the show and rewind if we miss anything or need to see an awkward boob graze again. With all that, we ladies still tend to commentate every hit or miss of CCC or Roberto or Heather Whitestone, I mean, Kasey.
So if you're looking to know about the ladies and have no plans on Monday nights, watch the show with us. Planning on coming or not, here are some things you can learn about ladies from watching The Bachelortte/Bachelor:
1. Girls love it when you say something right before you kiss them.
Ex) You know it girls: Cape Cod Chris is King of this move. "Cuss, you're cute." "You know I love you." He has mastered timing...

2. If you ever wonder if we wanted to dance in the middle of the street, the answer is always YES. If you can dance like Roberto or not, we don't care to be completely honest...

3. My fam is anywhere near picture perfect, but we're dang funny and ceaselessly loving. Those things overcome how odd we can be. BUT If your dad has a taxidermy business in your basement-Kirk, or your mother is a Looney Tune-Naomi, you should prolly opt to meet in a safe spot like Waffle House where the characters around you will make your fam seem tame. Or go on a fam date to a movie at an Imax because you won't have to talk, and you know it'll rock.

4. If you think you still have feelings for a past gf, you should A. get over it B. not go on national TV on a reality show about finding love. That's selfish and immature... skip the coughing under my breath and flat out say-Frank (why i oughta...)

5. If you think your break up was bad, it could always be worse. You could get a tattoo of a pulsing heart with a chick's name you've known for a few weeks and the slogan "guard your heart" all to get left on a glacier while she rides off in a helicopter with a guy who's nick name is Rated-R (who you find out later had 2 girl friends he was probably texting from that helicopter).

You might learn a few more lessons when I make my debut on the show. My mom has submitted me behind my back. I know it...

IHateGreenBeans by Lincee made me cry I was laughing so hard about the season...


  1. ha ha this is great and SO TRUE!!! My friends and I are SERIOUS- when we watch this show! There is lots to be learned men! Although, a married friend of mine recently reminded me that when girls say "All the good ones are taken." She said- "No girls, they're good because they're taken" ;) aha!

  2. omg i totally loved this and agree with it all! so glad to know there's others who appreciate this show (and arguably, a way of life)! can't wait for next week :)


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